Oct 14, 2012- I hate sleeping alone

Well I was more then disappointed to wake up alone. But I also learn a really important lesson today. And that is that was that love is never perfect, love is when you know you are fighting a losing battle, yet for some reason you still try because you honestly can't imagine your life without the other person. Alex will never be the guy who remembers that I love pumpkin pie and my favorite jelly beans are the marshmallow ones, and the root beer ones, but that is okay, because Alex is the one who will walk all 3.8 miles at 7 in the morning just to make me happy. Alex is also the guy who will do whatever he has to do to make it work with me. But today things got to be too much for him. I knew he had to work, but still put pressure on him to come see me, because I really missed him. But I didn't really think about that fact that Alex had a lot of pressure on him right now. He has pressure from his dad not to be with me and to get his life together, he has pressure from his dad's girlfriend to dump me, he has pressure from his school to do well, he has pressure from his friends to hang out with them, he has pressure from his work to come do jobs, and he has pressure from the state to obey his parole, and he has pressure from me to make me happy. So Alex ended up textin me telling me that this relationship was bound to fail, and was becoming a hassel for both of us, and he needed a break. I was surprised, because when he said all this, I was upset, but I didn't cry of break down or go all Amanda Todd and try to drink bleach, I just called Lulu and had a good laugh about nothing. I think it was because in the back of my mind I know much Alex loves me, and that gives me faith that everything is going to turn out. So I told him to come over after work and we could talk it out. And we did, and as it turned out, everything was all good. Which was a major relieve because I know that right now it seems like me and Alex are fight a losing battle, but I like to believe that everything is going to be okay, I just need to take a deep breath and learn to "CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" hahaha.