Oct 20, 2012- 4am

     It's almost 4am, yet I am awake blogging.  We just had this huge storm, and I was like shitting bricks.  Storms haven't bothered me since I was little, but this one was different.  This was the hugest storm I've seen in forever.  Things like this make me miss Alex, because I know if he wasn't on probation, he would have been with me tonight.  I honestly hate sleeping alone, and I feel as if this is going to be a really long 6 months.  I hate the fact that I barely get to see him anymore, except for on the weekends, but even then my time is really limited.  Tonight I texted Alex during the storm, and he responded right away, he is going to see me tomorrow morning.  But he isn't going to leave his house until 9, which means he isn't going to get here until 10, and I have to start getting ready for work at 11...and I don't know why I am thinking about all this right now.  But I am all teary and can't fall asleep.  Since I have been on the depot shot (birth control shot)  I can't trust any of my emotions.  This is my first time on the shot, I've been on it for two months now.  Since I got it I have been an emotional train wreak, I am like a pregnant person....except not because I'm on birth control haha.  But I've been so emotional, and I just can't control it, and every little thing either makes me really angry or burst into tears, so at this point I don't even know how much of what I feel is real.  I have been trying my best to control it around Alex lately because I don't want him to think I'm a nut job, but it is so hard, that when I get home I just completely break down.  Alright well blogging has helped me pull it together, so I'm going to attempt falling asleep now.  Goodnight/ Good morning haha(: