Dec 2, 2012- My bipolar love

     Last night I saw a side to Alex I haven't seen before... I saw the part of Alex that really can't bare to lose me.  After I laid down next to him he kept trying to hold me, but all I could do was squirm away, because I didn't want to be held by him, I just wanted to hold myself.  Alex kept desperately repeating, "Baby please just hold me, please!"  When that didn't work he most on to trying to get pity, he continued to saying things like, "Baby please!  My own father doesn't love me! My own mother doesn't love me!"  When that tactic failed he moved to trying me make me feel obligated to stay with him, "Baby I need you, you're my rock, my support my everything! Without you I have nothing to live for! You promised you'd never leave me! You promised you'd never do this to me!"  He said, now crying, again trying to put his arms around me.  But all I could do was just take his arms off and say, "goodnight Alex."  Finally he lost it and threw all the blankets off him and started yelling, "Fuck this! I can't fucking do any of this anymore! I'm fucking don't with life!"  At this point I couldn't bare to see Alex in so much pain, so I just wrapped my arms around him and huggest held him tight.  He was still angry and tried to break free of my grip, but I wouldn't let him go until he was clam.  After that we talked, and for the first time he actually opened up to me about him problems.  Hopefully we can continue with things going well, because I would really hate to lose someone who is so important to me.